Family's bond grows stronger as father battles cancer

Adverse circumstances have a way of drawing a family closer together.

When Brownsville resident Joe Rodriguez, 49, received sobering news in the summer of 2008 of a cancerous tumor in his left arm, it affected his entire family. The cancer was discovered at a Stage IV level, just one step away from being diagnosed as terminal.

Rodriguez's life changed immediately, along with the lives of his wife, Carmen G., and his children, Laura, 21, Nick, 20, and Meriah, 13. At the time, Rodriguez's two oldest children were preparing to leave for college. Laura was set to return to the University of Hawaii at Hilo, where she was an all-conference performer on the volleyball team, and Nick was planning to begin pre-law studies at Texas A&M. Laura had transferred to Hawaii-Hilo in 2007 from the University of Texas at Brownsville and Texas Southmost College when former Scorpions coach Bruce Atkinson was hired there. Atkinson had asked Laura, then a freshman, to switch schools and play for him at Hawaii-Hilo. After giving the matter some thought, she said yes.

But in the summer of 2008, after learning of their father's serious health condition, Laura and Nick, plus other family members, wondered if it was wise to go so far away to college considering the situation.

"I had been praying a lot about it, and then we had a family meeting," said Carmen, a 1980 Hanna graduate who has taught at Egly Elementary for 26 years. "I told my husband, 'Ultimately, it's your decision and my decision.'

"It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for Laura (to continue) at Hawaii-Hilo, and Nick was getting an excellent opportunity at Texas A&M, too," she added.

Nick said neither he nor Laura felt all that comfortable about leaving for college with their father facing such a serious health crisis, but it was eventually determined that they should go ahead with their plans.

"It was definitely difficult during that time," said Nick, who graduated in the top 10 percent of his class at Hanna in 2008. "But my father said, 'I'm going to get better whether you're here or not,' so it was decided that we should go. It was particularly hard on Laura because she was going to be so far away."

"Yes, it's definitely been difficult being so far away," said Laura, a 2006 Hanna graduate who plans to graduate from Hawaii-Hilo this December with a degree in kinesiology and a minor in English. "But (because of my father's illness), I've built an even greater relationship with each member of my family, and now, I feel a lot closer to them, maybe even more than some people who live with their families."

Since going to Hawaii-Hilo, Laura has returned to Brownsville during the summer and for Christmas vacation. After obtaining her college degree, she'd like to return to her hometown to teach and coach.

Meanwhile, since learning of his cancer, Joe Rodriguez has been treated locally by Dr. Balesh Sharma of Brownsville while periodically traveling to Houston for chemotherapy at M.D. Anderson Hospital. He had to give up his full-time job at Wells Fargo in Brownsville, but recently returned to work on a part-time basis. He said doctors have told him that his cancer is in remission, which is blessed news for his family.

"Joe has come a long ways," Carmen said. "He's doing a lot better now."

Last November, not knowing just how much longer he might have in his fight against cancer, Joe Rodriguez and his family decided to go to Hawaii-Hilo so they could see Laura play for the Vulcans for the first and quite possibly last time. Everyone went except Nick. They attended four matches in Hawaii, including senior night.

"It was a bit hard on me because I didn't have a lot of energy at the time," said Joe, a 1979 Porter graduate. "To be there and to cheer for Laura was very meaningful to my life and to my family.

"I see my life in a different perspective now," he added. "Life can be short and we have to live it to the fullest."

Having her family on hand to watch some of her final collegiate matches meant a lot to Laura as well.

"It was very emotional having them there," she said. "It felt surreal. I was trying to fight back the tears."  

The family, including Nick, plans to return to Hawaii in December for Laura's graduation.

"Cancer is a word you never want to hear uttered from the lips of a doctor, but luckily, cancer is (only) a word, not a sentence, and for my family, this definitely holds true," said Nick, now a junior at Texas A&M majoring in history and communications.

"I believe my father's illness kept things in perspective for my family as far as not letting the little things bother us anymore," he added. "I did not get to go to Hawaii, as much as I would have loved to go and watch my sister play. I was busy studying for finals. Both my parents, my little sister and my grandmother did make the eight-hour flight over the Pacific for my sister's senior night game, and that was a very special moment for the family. I was there in spirit. 

"Family is my number one priority, as most people would claim, but the meaning changes when you are faced with a life-or-death dilemma. My father's cancer really put more meaning and value to those words, at least for me."

Joe Rodriguez wholeheartedly echoes the sentiments of his son.

"We need to appreciate our family and not take anything for granted," Joe said. "I can truthfully say we love each other more."